She bites

My first night duty since the thing, definitely tolerating it better physically. Used to think waking up after night duty was the nearest thing to death, now its a bit better. But I wonder if those shifts are part of what did my heart in, probably. At 3am I thought those bastards only put this in so I still had to come and work this bloody awful shift. 

Then one of the birthing unit nurses comes round with a lady and says to me oh the pacemaker sister, did you take one day off and come back and some other stupid question in front of the patient. I got really angry, when she'd put the patient into bed and came back down I told her I didnt appreciate her discussing my medical condition in front of a patient. She said she was just trying to be nice and I said I dont know your medical history (apart from obviously stupidity) but I'm sure if I did you wouldn't appreciate me talking about it like that. 

Do people really think its a joke I'm a joke. I dont mind people knowing in this town privacy isnt an option but I dont want to discuss it with someone I barely know. We never saw her for the rest of the night. To your friends you still feel like you but to some people I seem to be a disease. Yeah I know we do that to patients all the time. I think my co-workers got a shock, I know people think well its all good but its not it truly sucks if you think about it much. I described the wires growing into your heart to them that creeped them out. Here we'll just poke this thing into your heart and we'll leave it there the rest of your life but dont worry dont think about the stuff ups and crumby doctors you've known or the medical recalls or why the hell it happened. 

They've closed access to google on the computer at work can you believe it just like China but I found the research engine they left us access to so thats ok I'll go on with my obsessive reading about heart block. Better do wii fit walk dog go back to bed. Ah the only blessing of nights it entirely wipes your brain too tired to care.