mutterings about retirement

How i wish i had thought about retirement earlier but then you are busy with children and mortgages and you never seem to have any money anyway we did what we could. Its hard to think of trying to provide for 20 or more years of non working life. There is a job in ICU full time I am tempted but it means no time for other things. You wonder too if you still have the neurones to learn all that stuff again there are so many changes but ICU would be a lot more satisfying place to work, maybe. I am just puttering along really we are just a railway station, with beds. We were making a bed yesterday and the girl in the other bed puts the buzzer on I said what do you want, oh she said I'm ringing for a nurse we are the nurse we said, oh i thought you were the bed makers. Close enough.
I played tennis today with my lovely grannies, only place i feel young, I would miss them working more. Its gone cold again when we are going to the beach for coffee, have to go indoors, then we buy the fish.
We thought we will send a dozen bottles of rose's to the inlaws for distribution amongst them so nice and pretty on the table and lovely chilled. Raining now. Was going to garden oh well I bought 3 stawberry plants, some coriander and succulant.

I hope I have a better day at work today I was cranky yesterday, doesnt make a good shift, we had lots of staff, not many patients but It was a hot day again, I'd played golf for 2 days. I didnt hear the allocation properly and thought the in-charge divided up fairly but no gave herself 2 and me 6 so didnt realise I'd had the extra 2 then big stink, well little stink cause young mum wanted to go home and was in tears. Oh IC said I'll take the 2 from Birthing unit except they never came. she is really nice and very good getting enough staff but ex-nursing admin and their return to the floor mostly a problem and I wouldnt mind if that happened occasionally but seems to happen every time I work with her. Again lucky I only work 2 days a week. The christmas deaths are starting one of the girls mothers is very sick, just fading away from the sounds of it and a girls daughter I used to play in a team with. She has had such a hard time with her as she was very disabled I dont know if that makes it easier or harder, such a big gap in your life.

hot weather funny shift

The hot weather has really arrived, 38 degrees at 8pm. Evening shift. Nice ladies and cutie babies. We tape record our reports usually now as it is quicker and people get off in time but our Num has decided we should go back to giving reports at the bedside. We have tried this before and there were big problems with confidential info, which is just about everything esp in this town where everyone knows everyone and probably went out with them, even peoples names are private and mothers are very touchy about all that stuff (think of mother lions). We have a lot of DOCs issues, drug dependancy, depression and family problems. Everyone has pointed out to NUM the problems but she is determined to do it so I suppose they will have to when she is around. I tried to read the document from some high up committee about report giving. It was unbelievable, as if hand washing became the topic of a doctorate thesis, but then it probably is the amount of time and effort they have spent on bloody hand washing, as they still shove patients all over the place without regard to infection. The real issues that we have problems with just get no attention, I think those nutty committees arnt interested in the real problems we have things like "hand washing" "report giving" which fit into an advertising campaign model so they get hold of that like it was the meaning of our work.

Garling report again again

There are lots of stories in the paper about how the Garling reports recommendations are going. It comes down to the admin saying all good, the clinicians saying all we got (awful) pictures on the wall of NUMs (where are graffetists when you want them) and name badges. The funnist thing we got was bed washers. Not strippers, or bedmakers they just wash we do the rest plus ring to get them to come So now we have to do 3 things instead of one plus wait for them to turn up plus they drown the bed so you are waiting for it to dry for ages. Someone sent an email to the in charge we never see about this she said we should be grateful for any help we get. Sheets that are big enough for the beds would be nice too or maybe fitted just joking.
Next we are getting some administration helper poor thing. They said in the paper that they havent funded computers or desks for them, no worries on past experience they wont be able to use them. Main talent seems to wandering aimlessly or staring vacantly apologies to the ward secretaries getting RSI on the job there are a few great ones.
Seems to be a policy of casual staffing going on not agency never been a viable agency here but a casual pool run by the health service. Lots of people say they prefer it as they feel it gives them more choice but it depends how much you need the money. I think the churn is even bigger thru we see people a lot then less and less, the novelty wears off. There is a kind of recycling going on a the moment old faces from years ago turning up but still hardly any next gen at all. Hardly training any midwives. Hardly any attention paid to experience mix or retraining. Latest is we have to do 20 education points a year to keep mid rego and another 20 to keep general but no funding or real info on it. I am hoping to be be the first person made redundant over loosing rego due to lack of pts. One can dream must do Wii fit.

waiting for the storm

Been really hot today now its cloudy and I hope going to rain, we are lucky we usually get a storm on really hot days, A southerly when we are playing golf we see it coming over. It heads over the course and out to sea its spectacular unless you are out in it. We played 2 weeks ago in so much rain my shoes took two days to dry out. I am enjoying the golf thru I dont seem to improve much and I get way too affected by fellow players moods. The drawback of empathy, useful for nursing but not for golf. I'm not much into the manipulations of people and I kind of see what people are even when they are pretending something else. I dont think people like that much. My daughter and I had iced (too hot for hot) coffee at the beach , she is reading a book of apocalypse stories and we agreed that it strangely makes you feel better after all you'll be dead and nothing to worry about. As long as the earth survives. I think a lot about death because of seeing it a lot when young it is a big mystery but makes our actions important too.
Had 2 very busy shifts at work and they were the other edge of dealing with it would have been alright if I wasnt in charge and shift before had done a bit more. I wont take extra shifts about all I can deal with. Lots of social issues and not enough beds. Oh well we are buying investment real estate at the moment so busy with that and not very interested in work. Wondering if cashing out super put it into RE investments and work casual, Dont get put in charge of the mess. Also get more money in hand could also work in different areas.
Ohow can hear the thunder better have a swim before the lightening. Tonight is our fav night we watch premier league highlights (english soccer) and eat nice fish. The rain has started.

pretty saturday pity about pm shift

Busy time of year doing mothers estate was going to say finalising but still tax return to go and there will be one next year perhaps amazing how long you have to do tax for the dead. I feel better some days and other times not, all my golfy ladies say you never really get over loosing your mother so I guess you just learn to live with it. I call them the grief virgins people who
havent lost someone close. Its hard to explain how bad it feels. But every bit of kindness helps and I guess thats what you learn. I've never seen any other point to this life but to learn.
I planted some wild rocket, chervil, and rhubarb I wish I was better at growing veggies. I planted so many trees its hard for veggies to compete and we seem to be pest paradise. My family left the land in my grandfathers generation and I can see why. Well I'd better have my swim before work or i wont get one. Did laps yesterday that was nice hadnt swum for 2 weeks too rainy.