Where to start. I was happy about going to our the boy wiz our financial planner this week to get a plan on when to retire, so bouyed up by that thought I wandered poor innocent into the disaster of friday caesar night. There are only 2 midwives on and an EN and 25 ladies. We cant get anyone else they said. We are, I say again supposed to have a 1 per 7 maximum. There were also 2 inductions being done on the ward. Neither of whom should have been agreed to in that situation no staff and no beds. Well some beds but no staff. Take into account the babies on the ward 18 or so and that is 43 people being looked after by 3 people one of whom has no midwifery training. Thrown in the 3 or 4 new caesars, and other disasters post haemorrhages etc.
Well punk do you feel safe. One of the evening casual pool but fairly regular and very pleasant person started on about the social work requirements of one of the patients,I said look I just try to keep them and their babies alive till the end of my shift fixing their social problems is just beyond the scope of this place.
We and they survived then the next night we had 4 midwives for 21 over staffed but no one was cancelling anyone at that point. I looked up the reasonable workload union stuff but it doesnt seem to make much difference.
The worst was going to see the fin advisor he is talking about working to 65 in the carefree way of young men who cannot yet imagine retirement. I said to him there are very few nurses running around wards at 65. I hope the market recovers quickly.
Amusing week in a black humour way.

My eldests birthday just about this time of day a caesar after a failed induction covered with meconium and peeling skin so overdue and the most beautiful thing I've ever seen in my life. Lucky that parents only realise the long haul at the other end not at the beginning! You just think about that little baby and how much you love it, I used to kiss her so much I thought I'd wear her out but not it just made her stroppy.
My asx game is going badly havent lost the money thats the best you can say, well its theoretical anyway trading is quite difficult but I hope I'm learning. These are interesting times.

Mad week got sent on a study day I am sure Num only sends me cause she thinks i dont like them, which is true really I do like learning new things but 20 fire lectures gets a bit much. I thought it was obstetic emergencies but there was one on communication and one on something else. I wasnt down for the something else and it ran for 3 days, the communication one only went for 2 hours. There was only one girl from my ward there and she said she had a patient load and had to go back to the ward. I said did they say anything about me she said no so I just went to that lecture and went home. Nuts only rostered one day this week now so I dont know if she will dock my pay or not what a mess. I am not asking her cause i dont like talking to her, the communication lecture didnt stick.
I am feeling very restless. Would like to do contract nursing work but youngest still at school, she is talking about a year in England next year maybe I could go too, oh but those awful flights!
Feeling very upset and missing my mother a lot especially as its mothers day and people keep saying happy mothers day to me and I think I'm going to cry. So I've decided sleeping all the time and doing nothing wasnt working so I am going to stay busy instead, make lists and do things, that might be a better way through grief. We have to paint the house and I think I have finally decided on the colours. So that s my job of the week getting some sample pots and trying the colours. Lots of people our age are selling their houses and moving into units near the beach but our daughters are still home and 4 bedroom units are very expensive. Sometimes I think I would like to live at the beach and other times I like the peace and quiet of our house.
Did some gardening yesterday I have to do a lot of trimming like Japanese gardens, things are very overgrown and the days are short so its hard to get much done.
After another nutty shift busy as always. Trying to find staff for the morning because they are going to be over numbers again. The trouble is so many of the shifts are being filled by people from the casual pool that they are being asked to do more than they want, or they are already working or they have other commitments, jobs or children. One of the casuals this evening pointed out a couple of days ago the whole shift was casuals. She has been working there 18 months and asked twice about a permanent job but no reply. I rang 12 or so people but no one could do it couldnt even ring the usual 20 cause so many already working and we just dont have people. Told them I couldnt find anyone.
Between doing that trying to get a caesar baby to feed not very interested then the mum mentioned she had her nipples pierced before would that affect the feeding. I thought it wouldnt once her milk is in but the small amount of colostrum might be slowed esp if she'd had some scaring from infections. I noticed with other girls the problems some have with getting belly button rings to heal I wondered if nipple rings were as difficult. Wont know the end of that story as i only worked the one shift. Always something new to deal with I wish she had told me earlier in the shift I could have checked it out more. We once had a terrible time trying to get a labial ring out before an emergency caesar had to leave it in the end and hope the diathermy didnt fry her. Take the rings out before I wish!

Pre night duty downer yuck. I think I'm working tonight must check the roster done that before turned up to find I'm not on. Been so tired since holiday sleeping a lot, I thought jet lag was just a myth but now i think its real. Only ever want to go to New Zealand now.
Played 18 holes yesterday and 9 today was glad I could play, thought maybe I was going to sleep for a month or all winter. Still playing ASX sharemarket game but I wont be leaving the day job soon thru did make some money from CSL cause of the swine flu thing.
Ah night duty finished pretty boring and have a study day tuesday they say the same things over and over. I wish i could think of something else to do, retirement would be good. i am feeling at lot better not so sad all the time. Kind of decided I couldnt live like that all the time. It feels like a long dark journey the last 7 months.
Watched the movie show want to see Tenderness with Russell Crowe and Samson and Delilah made in Alice Springs about a love affair beween Aboriginal kids.
Want to do some little trips away in NSW like the hot srings at Cowra.
Was trying to imagine our hospital with a flu in full swing I cant imagine we would have the capacity to cope at all and so many nurses are old as well so I can see us all off sick. But we have a folder labeled swine flu so the paper is flying. We were over numbers again this week caesars everywhere. Our staffing based on mothers looking after their babies but of course new C/S cant look after their babies. They sent them home in three days poor things. All the focus and fuss goes on the normal deliveries but at least a 1/3 of woman have caesars and not in our unit cause they demand them. I hope I'm finished before the big flu arrives.
I do like winter for the food thru. i make leak and potato soup tonight and goulash the other day. Must get the crock pot out again, also love fish these days esp salmon.
Well thats my addled blog night duty effect.