Rainy day no 3

Supposed to be 2 more. This is like years ago day after day of rain, poor farmers now they cant harvest properly in the mud. We were thinking of holidays I would like to snorkel for a week on a tropical island but I dont think we can fit it in and we have the quotes for painting the house and repairs lots of money so we will just cross the road and look at the house after painting. 

This house is suddenly full of love, three boyfriends who all look like keepers. Its nice if a little unsettling. I guess we are lucky to get to know these boys up close, check them out and become friends with them I hope. Everyone has passed their uni exams except the missed  one but she has a post to do so thats ok. 

Tomorrow is hams day at golf, first 30 win a ham but I dont think the course will even be playable its rained so much and friday is the christmas party at other golf. 

Daughter is playing Mario Galaxy 2 oh the brains that thought of all this stuff, I was really into playing Mario Galaxy 1 but it got too hard so my daughter (job in a games shop when they decided to diversify the staff ie employ a girl) said get Mario G2 it will start off easy well....It is really cute thro. I'm going to make muffins, that I can manage. 

The good and the bad

The builder turned up to fix some windows, the pest inspector turned up and said we dont have white ants, just rotten wood, but they will do a proper inspection next week and the lady who will design the garage and granny flat turned up and said there is enough room and it can be done. 

But the daughter misread the time of her exam and turned up late and wasn't allowed in and will have to try and do a post. Became very upset about lots of other issues. The transition from school to uni has proven to be very traumatic for all my children, they feel very lonely and yet its a local campus and they know lots of the people going there. Still a lot of her other issues came out in the storm of tears. Years ago I did a course on early childhood and I had to sit in on sessions with an early childhood nurse seeing new mothers, My children were 1, 3 and 5 so our big issue was sleep. Her son was 18 and doing his final exams so I thought she didn't really pay enough attention to the mothers issues with sleep, but afterwards I thought she taught me a good lesson, sometimes its more helpful to not make a fuss about things or think you are going to "cure" normal behavior, sometimes learning to deal with problems is the big lesson not finding someone to take it away.

Talking to my daughter about why we live what meaning does it have the same questions that I ask myself and still the only answer to learn wisdom what else matters. She said its like you are angry with us I said I am angry with you because I feel like you would get upset if I died so you I have to live with this shit machine in me and I hate it. She said I like it because you are alive with it. Its so annoying you have to be a good example of courage when you want to be angry and bitter. You have to get used to things. I feel like I've been in shock for months and months. 

I talk to people and its kind of normal but I think maybe they know I'm a freak. I dont feel normal at all there is always some weird feeling going on and you wait for the next thing to go wrong. 

the plagues of Egypt

My daughter said do you think we are having the plagues. She did a lot of religious studies at school, first as a believer later as a skeptic like her mother. No I said I think its the 7 year  break down of things in houses, so far sewer blocked, oven broken, plague of bees in the bathroom, stressful showers and other visits! Lets hope things come in 3's as nurses always believe. I like bees I thought we were friends I thought they had no sting (native bees) wishful thinking but they do and they did. I felt nearly broken by the bees but then I thought  its only bees. I also got bitten by a cloud of baby spiders I think, very itchy.

The new Harry Potter is out this week we all love Harry he is so brave and good. My children have grown up with those characters so they feel like school friends of theirs. I watched the second movie last night and it always leaves me feeling better. My husband said again you have to be resilient but you get tired of the pointless effort of doing pretty meaningless things. Modern man is kind of mad, do the stars clock on and off, do trees clean. but I better. 

Staff patient ratios

Should be in bed. worked 2 nights. came on only three of us on 24 patients supposed to be 4 on when we go over 21, this is not including the babies. Getting 3 booked Ceasars in the morning. I was really angry threatened to go home and said I'm only taking 7 ladies. Then feel guilty but said I cant manage more. Fights with the bitch admin trying to send general patients as well. Also the shift times are changing 10 hr nights which only one person wants. I dont want to do them at all but I dont know what rights I have if any.

Union running a champaign for 1 nurse to 4 patients. We cant figure what thats about they are in the pocket of the labour government so why are they running this.  Probably just to look like they are doing something like their rubbish night duty campaign. Unions are crooks. One day it will be just patients and admin! they might remember then what nursing was. 

Garbage time

Do other people feel like this. Garbage time in basketball is when one team has clearly won but they go on to finish out the game.  Thats what things feel like to me now, garbage time. The children are near finishing their courses and are grown up. Work is meaningless just hanging on till I can retire. Investments are stunningly boring shopping, travel just time fillers or chat fillers or show off things. Nearly everything you have read it before or seen it before. My mother just cleaned when she felt bad. Maybe cleaning is the answer. 

Well I've been doing some cleaning and I feel better.