Christmas Day over and nice but sad. The first Christmas wihout my mother. My daughters were wonderful and helped with doing things and made it fun, we really liked the Wii it was good fun. We got Wii fit and it was a good workout which we needed after the dinner. I should eat nothing till next christmas. Made a roast chichen and a small roast pork. The best thing was Nigella Lawsons trifle from her summer cookbook. It has Lemonciello as the liquor in it it is so nice.
Theatened the kids with antipasto for christmas dinner which would have been good but they really like the traditional dinner. My nicest present was from my husband a pig, it made me cry it goes to a village in the Solomans. He gave my sister a goat that goes to Ethiopia. I think that is a lovely present. I've always wanted a pig, probably a theoretical one works best. Dont think my farming ability is very good.

Decided on presents the Wii for everyone and ipods for a couple that havent got them. Had a lovely aquarobics this morning and our teacher made us a morning tea, tiramasu cake and Italian pastries that destroyed the effect but it was lovely. They wanted me to work the night instead of the afternoon but no thats tomorrow written off so I said no. People spend hours on the phone finding people. Some politician announced they had solved the nursing shortage thru. They made an announcement that they had cancelled some trained nurse positions and are replacing them with ENs in country hospitals, Arguing that lots of country hospitals operate as aged care homes. My sister said one of her tutors believed they should abolish EN training (god knows what she'd think of AINs) on the grounds that people wouldnt tolerate !/2 trained doctors why should they have 1/2 trained nurses.
I dont think it means much to be a nurse now all that work and study and some couple of week trained person is called a nurse.
Then they want the trained nurses to be responsible for what the ENs do but how do you check up on people, there isnt the time.
The assumption that people in aged care need less trained staff is pretty stupid as the people in nursing homes often have lots of health problems that are quite complicated and difficult to manage. I really wish I had done another career one that was valued.
Everything is just about money but sometimes quality care is cheaper in the long run.
Oh well I guess lots of people wonder if their job meant anything at the end of the day. I kind of always hope something else will come along like Frank Lloyd Wright his career really kicked off at 60. Course he did have a talent, I havent discovered one yet.

Well we have had a medical adventure from the patient side, Daughter working in a restaurant slipped carrying plates fell and cut her hand blood spurting everywhere, chaos in the kitchen, hauled off by ambulance to local A&E I was rung went down to pick her up. Doctor says he thinks there is nerve damage she will have to go to Sydney hospital to get it repaired. We came home and took her to the hand clinic next day, Calmly the nurse taking dressing down in the clinic, then blood everywhere spurting out of her hand like a horror movie, maybe 500mls before they coud get it stopped. I was amazed, she told me it had bleed a lot but this was so dangerous I couldn't believe they had sent her home like that. Operation in the afternoon, she had a cut along the main artery where it branched in two, that's why the bleeding wouldn't stop, normally the artery would contract stopping the bleeding. She also 1/2 severed a nerve which they repaired. I hoped she'd come home that night but she wasnt well enough and they wanted her to stay for obs and IV antibiotics. It was interesting to see another hospital in the group. I was quite envious all their beds were electric, ours are operated by winding up and down. Even the mattresses are thicker and they had so much new equipment and staff. And their TVs are free our patients have to pay for them. Still rent is cheaper here. They were very good through I wish they wouldnt load drug on drug she felt really sick from them all. Now having just panadol and seems enough. Despite the polypharmacy they presented us with!
Left at 8pm to drive home and back the next day to pick her up, a taste of what country people go thru to get treatment. We are only a short way but the traffic is awful esp for Christmas. It is a very pretty hospital I worked there a long time ago a horrific 6 months in the melanoma ward. I think that building is pulled down and the unit moved to another hospital. There is lovely restaurant in the middle of the place but I'm glad they kept it as a hospital. I think things should keep their function if possible, these empty preservations where the building looses its relationship to it original function, or any function other than endless coffee shops are boring.
Big cities are funny places totally stressy and totally interesting my mother always said she could just sit and watch people esp in the city they were fascinating. I am so tired from worrying. None of my children have had an anaesthetic all the time she was in theatre I was trying not to panic. We take these things as so everyday but they dangerous stuff. Its good sometimes to feel things from the other side. I always think you should look after people like they were you family except for the panic

I lost my list, Only a nurse understands the dread of those words. Its funny how much your whole shift depends on the verbal report and the notes you make on your list of patients. We used to put sheets of carbon paper and write the lists now we print it off from the computer and add the notes from the verbal report. Mostly we record our reports on tape now. which makes it quicker no chatting so we get off on time but some vital stuff gets left off sometimes usually dont have time to read patient notes till the end of the shift when you are writing your reports. Sometimes there doesnt seem much point knowing the patients they are shoved thru so fast you cant really do much. I worked on a car assembly line once and we used to miss tightening some bolts cause the line moved so fast. Thats what it feels like in nursing and the more difficult things are to do or the more unsure people are of how to do something the less they are likely to do it. You could rank procedures in difficulty then match it to missed or done wrong I'm sure they'd correlate. Keep it simple stupid. I guess thats obvious but because the people ordering the procedures never think about the problems of doing it or if people can do it or even know how to do things themselves. I always have tried to be honest and say if I dont know something and ask.
We had a quiet shift so I was reading the Garling report just the summary at the beginning. I wonder why they get a judge who knows nothing much about the health system to recommend stuff about it. Very odd when you think about it. One recommendation that we go to computer generated rosters. I'm not sure what he means by that but our rosters are request rosters we write down what we want and they do their best to give us those shifts. Like the bit about establishing a kind of 2ndary A&E for lower category problems. Bit of a failure to understand the issues. Closing pubs at 2am would have more effect.
On to nicer things I am making Delia Smiths little salmon croutony things for tennis party tasty tasty. Her website is really good. I still think she is the best home food cooking writer and she owns a football club perfect. One day we will go to England and go and eat in her restaurant and go see a game we love English football Gotta go to work. I am having breaks from night duty doing afternoon shifts getting too tired from it.

No golf too wet no one went out so I didnt feel like a wimp. Went and did laps instead. The clouds were right down on the mountain. It is the most beautiful pool outside but heated at the uni. Years ago when I first started swimming laps I could hardly swim a lap now I'm up to 25 with fins on and some kickboard laps. One of the girls I swam with laughed at my fins but she asked the physio and she said they are good make you work harder and if you do more laps because you have them all the better so she bought some. I'm hopeless swimming without them. Surprised that once you swim laps you can always do it. There used to be a little Kiosk the people were Korean and served Korean food and other stuff from this little tiny area. We would swim up and down smelling noodles and miso soup thinking what we would have for lunch. Sadly they closed and they made a another "microwave"
cafe. Food all prepared before and shoved in a microwave. May as well take tablets for dinner.
After swim looked around uni bookshop for Christmas presents. Read about poet Dorothy Porters death and looked at her book The Monkey Mask. I didnt think a poetry novel would work but it read really well. Might buy it but I wanted to buy A Collectors Year by Adrian Franklin from the collectors show (ABC friday nights). Dorothy Porter looks so familiar but I dont know where from, I can hear her voice thats weird maybe she looks like someone else. Actually its like you've met all the looks of people so everyone looks like someone else. Also I wanted to be a poet but I could never see how you could make a living at it so gave it away but she managed too.

Meant to play golf this morning but I slept in. It has turned cold again. 32' yesterday. We were at the beach after a surf and this amazing low cloud like a big dragon turned in the sky and travelled north out from the beach. Then gusts of wind came in and dropped the temp by about 10' in a few minutes. It makes me sleepy going from hot to cold. Supposed to have a whole summer like that.
I was glad I slept in because I dreamt that my mother wasnt dead. She was well again. I went to the nursing home and she was there. They had given her a nicer room and she was much more herself again. We talked and watched some TV and some beautiful birds walked around near us, also a very odd animal that seemed to be made of bits and pieces of soft toys and junk (I think that comes from a Japanese book about making animals from felt which was super cute that I was looking at). I kissed her and hugged her and we sat together. It was so nice to see her again. Then I had to go. I said to her I am very mad, who did we bury and why did they keep it a secret that you are still alive. She said dont be so angry and protesting all the time. I went to talk to the staff about it but they were afternoon staff so no one was responsible for anything of course. "You'll have to talk to dayshift " typical.
Going to lunch now tata fans or fan or ether