I wrote that to my sister cause I had such a spas attack in an email to her about this piece of metal shit and the whole medical bloody world that I'm now dependent on. I cant think of anything more scary than trusting doctors, your life in their hands, bloody hell. I feel like I have to learn everything about this thing and I'm so foggy headed about tech stuff. I read about pacemaker syndrome and decided I had it so I rang the clinic to see if it was important to check out. They gave me an earlier appointment I think they'll have the straight jacket waiting, bit hysterical on the phone. Anyway course all symptoms seem better maybe just psychosomatic or the flu shot. Whatever through I really need to get a check out and a bit of reassurance. I know they think you shouldn't read stuff about what you have and all that but I cant deal with it and the only thing makes me feel a bit better about it is to know stuff. Still have trouble believing it and I resent that they put this in me, that they cant tell me what caused it and they are not interested in finding out.
They make you feel like you are just on their production line and not human at all. Wonder if I'll get better if I sulk enough or rage enough or whinge enough or blame someone else or blame myself. That would be no. I guess I'll get used to it and forget about it most of the time.
One of my ipod buds is busted so I am going to buy another one and some wool, my daughter wants a scarf in bf's football colours and seeing its soccer thats ok. Had some bloods done yesterday the aging ones calcium vit D or K or something cholesterol etc. I swore I wasnt getting into this aged surveillance thing. yeah well
No comments:
Post a Comment