In the ocean

Thats what I like, its been huge surf. Kelly Slater was being towed into the waves so thats me on dry land but it finally calmed down on friday and I had a lovely body board the waves were just right rolling in. dramatic sky, big clouds building up some kids with a camera taking pictures I must do that one day my camera is water proof. Its amazing looking. I was still a bit addled from thursday golf, didnt take enough water out and it got really hot and windy so felt like heat stroke a bit. Still not good at work yesterday. I hope better today but maybe you just get carers exhaustion.  

nada

Fourth grey day, not good yesterday upset with everything hopeless, went for a body board in a grey green sea under grey sky it rained a little bit but good waves and felt betterish. Watched the pictures from Japan feel like we will get stuff washed up here. You feel so sorry and so helpless. I said to our Japanese nurse that we want to go to japan and look after the old people because they are so cute. She said they are and they are so little and quiet. I read a story of an American blogger in japan who is staying with friends all in one room and they say a japanese word which means we must be strong. Honestly I think the Japanese people and culture are world treasures. 

out of the grey day she came her red hair falling like the sky

It is one of those grey days where it threatens rain but does not just sits like a sullen child. That line is from the Incredible  String Band who run through my head they deserve a revival but then whats fame worth less than dust. They are nice to listen to and their lyrics paint pictures. There is a mad bunch of birds in the backyard screaming their heads off, you can hardly call lots of Australian birds melodious but they are funny. There will be lots more too when all the inland water dries up they will migrate to the coast. 

I was thinking of the Parliament of Birds a sufi poem by Attar which I have only read bits of of, found there is a Chaucer poem by the same name and Attars poem is know as Bird Parliament. Ah the internet is incredible really the poem was posted in 2007. It is brilliant. Should be a pixar movie. The grey has turned white a bit more cheerful. 

Twitchy tired

Part of problem solved, swopped the 2 nights for an afternoon and a day shift, so I'll have one sick day this week so thats good. THINGS WORK OUT. I say this to myself since the kids were little and I would get overwhelmed by the stuff I would have to do the next day, like needing to be in two places at once. Often a friend would offer some help just when you need it or you would just feel better in the morning. I am finding I am much better if I dont get too tired, esp emotionally. Today I am tired as I worked my two shifts, they weren't too bad except I had the high anxiety group also 2 of them were our nurses so you feel extra worried for them. Sometimes they ask you to do something but I think oh you are 30 years younger than me and I am tired. My thumb is really sore from pulling on those horrible support stocking I hate those things they particularly annoy me as the literature says they dont do anything anyway. Money for crap. 

There is an ad for nursing saying 2 days are never the same thats for sure, one day our ward is a midwifery ward the next its the dumping ground for everything and anything. Two of the mums had diarrhoea which is going through the hospital and the community so I may a genuine sickie

if I'm unlucky. 

I was late to tennis today as the builder came and a friend rang but I went anyway as we were going out to lunch for one of the lady's 70th birthday. The charge sister rang to see if I wanted to work this afternoon or tomorrow yuck no. 

When I was driving to the restaurant I was imaging what a tsunami would do to our town as we are next to the sea. Wolfgang, our only male tennis playing said he was thinking that too. It makes me cry looking at the pictures from Japan. 

A Plan

I think maybe you need a strategy in life for difficult and stressful things. They have rostered me on 2 of the 10hr nights and on a golf day so I'm planning 3 sickies, I have just got some sickies back and then they will be gone again but I am not missing golf for work and I am not doing 10hr nights. we need the money but lately I think I dont care if we have to live on nothing dont want to go to that place anymore. Will see what happens just crawl along and try to reduce spending. I have reaching my nominated retirement age yippee. Now just have to retire.

Long time

I couldn't get into my blog dont know why not very tech and I thought oh well just let it go talking to thin air makes no difference. Writing posts but not publishing but anyway I thought I'd just publish them, now I got into it again, you read and think oh I sound petty and sulky and stupid etc and all that but what else would anyone be, you dont run into perfection in humans that much, at all? I never have anyway and I've been watching for a guru all my life thro they have obviously not been watching for me. 

Two days of golf and humidity and not quite raining, I should have gone for a surf this afternoon but I cleaned my golf shoes and the clubs which feels nice. I am going out to dinner and to see The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, part 3 with middle daughter. She is a painful show-off at the moment but we cant figure out how to tell her to stop it so we are just ignoring it. coward parents. oh well. 

My friend rang she said I suppose they are all rich at golf, not all (me for one) anyway there are other things than money youth and beauty she hung up then, not dealing well with aging my hippie generation.