the temptation of misery

I dont know why I am inclined to be unhappy, it is not my predilection really but perhaps it feels like home it absolves me of involvement. We grew up with a depressed mother, real depression, not my occasional teary imitation. I think will I bother going on with my projects and sport and stuff does it have any meaning but then you do because someone rings you and asks you to play golf with them, or you get a big idea currently to build a garage and granny flat at the side of the house and someone gives you a designers name she sounds good when you ring her, you get excited by a project and sucked in to being alive again when really you just want to sulk.