The winter soltice

Its a grey day where the grey seems to go from sky to ground. Yesterday was the shortest day and very cold to. I feel hopeless really. I read and read but I have no hope of getting better so I just have to endure more life. Everyone is home and they are cheerful but I feel like crying because I have run out of hope and no doctor gives me any or any medical article. I have been distracting myself looking for a house for my sister to buy but one fell through and the market is getting heated and the real estate people are so dodgy. Also when the market goes up its like high tide it brings out all the rubbish for ridiculous prices so you end up seeing awful properties. 

I want to go upstairs and go back to bed and cry and cry.