Cranky nurse

I feel so bad I dont want to even talk about it. Have had fights with patients last two weeks. The first girl was very rude and I called her psycho to a nurse coming in the room the boyfriend heard it and went ballistic at me. In the end I apologized but I am beginning to feel like I cant deal with these people anymore too tired. Last night I did feel worse about, girl rang and baby crying. I'd been trying to settle a baby at the desk with no luck so I was a bit short with her and she got mad because she was tired, the baby had been on antibiotics so probably had a sore tummy and they had been comping him in the nursery so he wasn't too pleased about getting just colostrum. Anyway I said sorry again and I am sorry but just no patience feel like I'm turning into cranky old nurse. There are some jobs advertised at a nursing home name your shifts that might be better. 

Maybe I need some long service leave. I get so tired I hate midwifery now. They are staffing us for the overflow of general patients so the ward is a madhouse everyone is angry and they cant get staff. 

One of the general wards had no staff at all one day must have been fun, pulling in people from anywhere and no one in the place who knows the ward or where anything is. I was talking to one of the casuals about working somewhere else but she said its horrible everywhere mid is the best. 

Its tiredness but also I think getting old and feeling ugly and no self confidence, the mums are young and beautiful and what are you just some old person telling them what to do so you dont feel so good about yourself and that makes me very prickly. Its easy to figure these things out but not easy to change your feelings. Also we dont feel valued at work just shoved around. I really hate nursing now. I feel like it did this heart thing to me with the stress and shifts and horrible people. Maybe I should see a psychologist. Everytime I think I am getting better I feel bad again.