Less monitoring my moods The joke is now having mentioned to a few people I feel depressed about the heart thing I get asked about that when I feel ok or am not thinking about it.
It was kind of unbearable for a while, cant even explain how bad like something so bad pushing into everything. Awful, you don't want to be alive anymore. I tried to make my heart stop. Its not really depression or anxiety, it was like mental pain. Its not gone but its subsided. Someone said the tiredness of the heart problem is not like other tiredness the depression of the heart is I think not like other depression.
When your heart goes from 2nd degree block to complete block there is a gap where your heart stops for a number of seconds before a secondary pacemaker takes over, if it takes over, if it doesn't thats how you die from heart block. So you have been dead for a little while at least a few times.
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