Having a very paranoid day. Worked yesterday evening shift. One of the birthing unit staff says to me are you telling the local paper stuff about the department, what says I, you've got to be kidding. Someone is she said, well they could make it accurate says I looking after 20 people each is exaggerating a bit. It was pretty lightly said and normally I think of that person as quite nice through I dont know her well. Today I am really stressed about it and wonder who is saying that story. The CEO had a veiled or not so veiled warning about saying anything to the media about the hospital system and I've seen other people done over on the suspicion that they leaked something. I am not really interested in "whats wrong with health" I wouldnt know where to start. The rants I do in this blog have taught me that and history. Change is always double edged nearly everything you do has good and bad effects about the only thing you can say for sure is change will happen and be used by the ambitious to control and promote themselves.
You get older and you carry the scars and the damage of places and people. I want to wipe that all away. Sometimes I think of becoming a Buddhist nun and leaving this rubbish behind! Be in the world but not of it the sufis say. Easier said than done. I think nurses are really prone to carrying the damage. The grace and the curse of empathy. You feel their pain and it lets you help them but it does damage. The sorcerers say that human feelings are better in alignment with the feelings of trees. So I think of the trees I know well.
Actually I am feeling over her comments quicker than I used to. I used to worry over these things all week, so thats an improvement.I am starting to think about leaving work. We could take contracts in places like Darwin etc. I think that would be fun.
This morning I am watching the stock market thought I might buy a little something but what! I thought BHP but the analyst says it will be sold off today profit taking. So I might just buy some new swimmers.
Am reading paper watching business channel reading garden magazine writing this. Wall st down 8% they think there will be selling on our market mostly we follow US. Better do so gardening.