What mattered today i have been wondering. I played tennis very nicely that kinda perfectly relaxed and in the zone way where you can get all the difficult shots. I keep trying to play games like a fish swims almost not thinking about it. I didnt go and see Mum today I need to get a bit of distance there else i am going to get very depressed. I just want to cry all the time. I dont mean to be so close to her feelings but its always been that way and I"ve always had to keep some distance sometimes. She is so endearing and so nuts We have a house full of her stuff moved out of her unit. I feel like I've stolen her things. I tell her whats going on but she forgets a little bit later. I got really upset because the nurses said she is keeping other patients awake at night like I can doing anything about it they want to give her sleeping tablets as she is very agitated. I hope that helps but I have my doubts. So tired going to bed.