kev07

God its monday a week later already. I write like crap now, I used to write well once must practice more. Had a sporty week last week back to tennis and two days of golf, played not very well but at least was out there. Played tennis today went to see Mum in the nursing home, the therapist suggested we do a family history which was really fun because she could remember much more about the past than about this morning so we had much more to talk about, her roommate comes out in her wheelchair which she "walks" outside to join us.
Its funny when you first walk into that world you get so sad coz there are guys with their legs falling off, there's a lady at the front door who lets her imaginary friends in a guy who looks like a founding member of the ministry of funny walks as he shuffles along and lots of people with lots of absence but in the end you see there humaness and the humanity of the people who care for them. Anyway Mum is much happier there sleeping less but more settled sleep and more stimulated playing bowls and bingo, I never thought much of occupational therapy but really it is the little things that matter and kindness. Just having a conversation around some of the residents is good for them. It is a much simpler life in a way but it is kind of nice.
We go out in the garden and we watch the birds there are the beautiful blue wrens and the starlings were up in the sky in a mad flock. It looked like a big storm was coming in and there must be lots of insects blow up into the air coz the birds were really excited. Mum has been in the local bird observers club for 25 years or so a founding member and went to lots of places bird watching. Sri Lanka and the gulf of Carpentaria the most exotic. She was such a lady when we were little kids and then got a tent for her 60th birthday and treked around everywhere. She loves gardens and the bush and art and Japanese culture and different foods.
Its rainy tonight and there is a new government in power so we think the drought will break. At least the stock market inproved it was looking a bit sick last week. we are really glad to see Howard out I think he was trying to make us like the USA where only rich people matter and the ordinary people are feed hope and live in desperation. At least public might not be a dirty word and public schools might have the occasional new toilet block while the private schools build their sports halls and indoor pools. My kids will never vote liberal after the way they've been treated as public schoolkids and working on work place agreements.
Well its nice to see a change but will see if labour shoots itself in the foot again as in previous moments in power. Good to see the greens get a good run onya Bob Brown well on that faintly optimistic note to bed goodnite mushrooms. Actually I'm really pleased Rudds in onya Kev get it right.

तेअर्स ऑफ़ rage

its 1pm so I want to go for a swim before i go out so I dont want to write except the writing is a kind of therapy for all the clogged up and teary days that seem to be around. Water will wash away your sadness and chocolate will take away yr sadness- the witches say. I went to work yesterday to arrange my leave and everyone had a sad story of aging or dying parents. We have all just hit that age Going for swim.

Well no posts on my blogs so thats good this is very private. Its been 4 months since I wrote anything. The next night I stayed at my mothers and she was in a lot of pain. She had really bad pain in her left hip and was writhing around on her bed. I gave her a pain killer and thought I'd have to take her to hospital in the morning but by 12.30am I called the ambulance. Its so weird to call an emergency number. I was really shattered to ring. It seemed like ages till they came through it wasnt but listening to your mother in pain like that is awful. When they came she was settled and they were going to just reassure I think but the the pain came back and they changed their view and loaded her into the ambulance and put in a canula and gave her morphine. I went home and told them what was happening eldest daughter offered to come up to Cas with me.
It was a friday night and looked a bit of a disaster area but things just got worse and worse. We sat beside her in Cas till about 5am but she wasnt assessed through she was fairly comfortable or at least only semi conscious with a little breakthru pain from the muscle spasms (thats what it looked like). By 5 we were exhaused and nothing was happening so we went home. I came back around ten or eleven and she'd been seen, I think around 8-9 am only 7-8 hrs after arriving.
They were thinking that she'd fractured her hip in one of the falls she'd had in the previous weeks so they had put in a catheter in her bladder and were taking her round to xray and scanning. Time gets a bit weird now I dont remember the sequence of things very well but I must have gone home for a while then and come back after the tests. They said they had no beds and things were obviously getting worse and worse in the place trolleys were lining the corridors and there were patients everywhere.
They wanted to move her to a bed at one of the private hospitals but it was quite a long way away and I wasnt happy with that, I wanted her to go to the closer private hosp but they didnt have any beds. The discharge planner had seen her and started assessing her which was ok kind of but this seemed to be before she was diagnosed and we were never really told all the procedulal shit till a lot later. At some time in the afternoon they sent over a doctor in nappies to inform me that she didnt have a broken hip and they diagnosed that she had back pain and they didnt admit people with backpain so she could go home. I looked at her 85years old out of it on pain killers but still having bad break through pain. They had given her no drugs to treat the pain other than morphine. I said to him well thats not really the issue I cant take her home in that state he looked at her and wandered off. Next the nurse in charge came to get rid of us. I got the pat on the arm and the condescending bullshit. The specialist that weekend had refused to look after her he was snowed under and the wonder boys had diagnosed backache so He wasnt interested in looking after that. She got the message I wasnt taking her home in that state and did a deal to keep her overnight and get the pain sorted. Off I went home
Come back sunday morning nothing much changed still on morphine still having break thru pain, nothing tried like valium to stop the spasms. I sat for two hours in front of the desk but no one came near me. she was crying and very upset in between sleeping. In the end I rang the friend that was visiting from melbourne and arranged to meet her at the beach. We had coffee and I told her what was going on. I went home and the hospital had been ringing where was I big panic she had failed the walking test big surprise and they werent allowed to send her home like that. We went back to the hospital and they had sent her to the private hospital. i said dont you normally tell relations when you move people oh she just left and they were just calling you more bullshit she left at least an hour before. Well that was the start of a four month nightmare of well meaning stuff ups and her decline in mental and physical health and our education into the world of caring for the aged.

too busy to blog ha ha

thursday already and cant remember when last wrote. We have been theatre goers. the warlock went to see Stephen Sondheim talk then the 3 girls and him went to see Company, The next night we all went to see the 25th annual putnam county spelling bee which was just fantastic, One show a week is really my limit and beside i had to work. The theatre Sydney theatre is in such a magical spot. I hate driving in Sydney now it is so maniac and nasty, i didnt see a no turn sign so some looney bus driver behind me yelling you think they laws arent for you, ahhh, but then you get to the rocks which is under the harbour bridge and you can feel the chill out straight away. There was lots of parking, metered but $8 is pretty good and the water between the wharves is kind of deep and mysterious and the lights of the harbour, There are all units on those wharves now and businesses, we watched a girl riding a bike in the gym maybe living there would never feel ordinary it doesnt look ordinary.
Margaret Whitlam was at the theatre, wife of Gough the legend, ex-prime minister, shes looking good. In our family there is story about her father who was a judge. My great aunt was getting a divorce before the judge and my father and his brothers had all gone along to support her Margs dad had a go at Aunty Iris (game of him) so she or one of the nephews (cant remember which) told him off and what a bastard the ex was. My family had some unfortunate mates.
One the way home we decided to start the Steve Sondheim Lyric theatre the warlock managed to name all of the guys somes which was pretty good. Just need the lottery win.
Oh its so late and I have get up early Things are not going too well with my mother.Sibling has been minding her but we think is going to require someone to be there all the time and sleep over She had a bad night last night with pain so tomorrow will be my first night under my mothers roof in 20 something years. Old age and illness is very difficult makes you wish you are an eskimo and wander out into the snow when yr teeth wear out. Speaking of which I have an abcess under a tooth and I look like the godfather. Oh we saw Harry Potter tonight that was really good. Must check shares go sleep.

its too late to write

I am kniting a black vest for kid for school which is boring want to start the hoodie in stitch and bitch big fan of those books. she tells it like it is in wool world if you are tallness challenged and of rounded shape you can not wear chunky knits thank you Debbie Stoller. also the critique on knit magazines. relective kniting practice so smart. I really like to read about other knitters because it is such a knitting wilderness here now. There is a s&b group in town but I havent made contact yet. My kids love the patterns in stitch and bitch.
we did the golf lesson and I think l learn some stuff but golf is such a mind game you really need to be just in the right state with it. Ive got it with putting but the long shots I try too hard stress and loose it.
Kinda over blogging today its late abd I dont feel interesting and I keep pushing wrong letters. Kid is sniffing all the time almost as annoying as a whistler. must go bed

We won must hav stuffed up the scoring

I cant believe how many times I've won at golf cos my handicap is so high, alright the highest the ladies keep muttering we'll have to get you off that handicap but sadly I have these occasional moments of good with lots and lots of air swings bunny hops and general bad judgement. I remember reading once that bob dylan had played a game of golf and liked it I was quite shocked ah it has come to this.
Speaking of Bob we are going to see him in sydney in august, The warlock says do we have to see Bob again but of course we do he is 66 and its a long way to oz. I really loved his new cd it was so good and grows on you. At least we are getting seats close this time instead of the last row age gets yr debts in perspective. I've spent all evening trying to decide on which shares to buy reviewing the portfolio and deciding I didnt want any of them which is a bit sad. The market is down and boring this week tax time. You end up madly zoning on anyone who recommends any shares. The lab with Leo has just finished great show for computer people even I have sparked a bit of interest he is a good explainer.
We are having a (badly needed at least by me) golf lesson tomorrow the amy I started learning with has turned into the likely next club champion, people mixed me up with her but not 4 long haha.
The course was nearlly closed it was so wet but I got round not too sodden then fell over in a puddle in the carpark and completed the job To be dignified I would have to sit completely still. love to the dogs and horses kerry (enigma for ya)